Why you feel this way

Fear of public speaking is common. Nothing is wrong with you. Your body is trying to protect you from a moment that feels risky. Bright lights, eyes on you, the silence before you speak. Your alarm system reads those signals and flips on a stress response.

That response is physical. Your heart speeds up. Breathing goes shallow. Hands may shake. Focus narrows to the one thing you hope you will not forget. This is how a healthy nervous system prepares for action. The trick is to give it proof that you are safe and a plan that feels simple.⁶

Slow, paced breathing tells your body it can stand down.^1,2 A clear opener reduces mental load. Short, repeatable practice teaches your brain that speaking ends in safety, not danger. Some people like a left right rhythm from light taps or a small haptic device because it gives a calm beat to follow, like a quiet metronome you can feel.^3–5 Expect the first minute to be the hardest. Plan for it. Use your opener and one slow exhale to carry you into the talk.

Your 10 minute prep plan

1. Pick one message. Complete this line: If they remember one thing, it is ____.
2. Outline three chunks. Why it matters → How to do it → What to do next. This becomes your talk path.
3. Write a one line opener. For example: Today you will learn how to calm nerves and give a clear talk in three steps.
4. Write a simple closer. For example: If you try one thing this week, try one message per slide.
5. Make slides simple. One idea per slide. Big font. Few words. Split crowded slides.⁷
6. Practice out loud once. Record a voice memo. Trim anything that felt crowded.
7. Create a pocket card. Opener, three chunk headlines, and closer. This is your safety net.
8. Add a calm cue. Do three physiological sighs¹, then one minute of slow breathing². If you like tactile support, use gentle left right taps or an alternating haptic pattern^3–5. Read more in Science or explore Haptix Flow V2.

Practice that actually lowers fear

You already have a simple talk path. Now turn that plan into calm through small, real reps. Fear fades when your body learns the pattern of start, speak, finish, and feel safe. That learning is faster when practice looks like the real thing and stays bite sized.

Why this works

Exposure teaches your nervous system that the outcome is safe. Each rep lowers the prediction of danger a little more. You are not trying to crush fear. You are showing your body what safe enough feels like.

Build your ladder

1. Voice memo, 60 seconds. Read your opener and three headlines. Listen once. Fix one thing only.
2. Mirror, 2 minutes. Plant your feet. Watch your face soften on the exhale.
3. One friendly person, 3 minutes. Ask for two notes only: what was clear and what to cut.
4. Three people or a small club, 5 minutes. Add your slides. Pause after the opener so your pace settles.
5. Room rep. If you can, stand in the actual room. Check the mic and clicker. Run your first 30 seconds.
6. Real talk and short Q and A. Keep your pocket card where you can touch it.

Make practice feel real

• Wear the shoes you will speak in.
• Turn on bright lights and stand, not sit.
• Use a timer and stop when time ends.
• Record one clip per day. Keep the best ten seconds as your evidence file.

Common blockers and fixes

• Over editing slides. One slide pass per day is enough.
• Memorizing paragraphs. Memorize the opener, three headlines, and the closer only.
• Skipping days. Do a 60 second opener rep and call it a win.

7 day micro plan

Day 1 voice memo. Day 2 mirror. Day 3 one person. Day 4 three people or club. Day 5 room rep or slide run. Day 6 rest or repeat your shortest rep. Day 7 full talk at easy pace.

Calm body, clear voice: breathing you can use

1) Physiological sigh

Two small inhales through the nose, then one long easy exhale through the mouth. Shoulders drop as the air leaves. Do 3 to 5 rounds to lower a spike backstage or after a tricky question.¹

2) Slow breathing pace

Inhale for 4 to 5 seconds and exhale for 5 to 6 seconds for 2 to 5 minutes. Let the exhale be a touch longer. Keep the jaw loose and the tongue resting on the roof of the mouth. If you feel light headed, return to normal breathing.²

3) On stage micro resets

• Before your opener, take one long exhale.
• During a transition, say the slide title, pause, sip air, continue.
• If your voice shakes, lengthen the next exhale and speak on that breath.

Use breath to shape the message

• Pace. Aim for a relaxed, conversational speed.
• Pauses. A one beat pause lets listeners process and signals confidence.
• Emphasis. Exhale as you say the key word in a sentence.

Pair breathing with rhythm

Match inhales and exhales to a gentle left right cue. Tap thighs alternately or use a soft haptic pattern. The rhythm gives your body a beat to follow when the room feels loud.^3–5

Daily training plan

One minute of slow breathing while you skim your pocket card each day this week. Add one extra minute on the two days before your talk.

The haptic shortcut for grounding

Bilateral stimulation means a left right pattern your body can feel. Many people use a gentle alternating rhythm as a grounding cue in everyday life. It can act like a quiet metronome that steadies attention while you speak.^3–5

What it can help with

• Settling pre talk jitters while you wait backstage.
• Keeping focus during Q and A when attention scatters.
• Staying present if a slide or name goes missing from your mind.

Free DIY options

• Butterfly taps. Cross arms over your chest and alternate left and right at a walking pace for 60 to 120 seconds.
• Thigh taps. Hands on thighs, left and right while you breathe slowly.
• Foot presses. Press left foot, then right, inside your shoes while you answer a question.
• Pocket object. Pass a small smooth stone between hands left to right as you walk to the podium.

Haptix Flow option

• Set up. Choose a gentle alternating pattern at low intensity and practice with it during daily reps.
• Before you speak. Run the pattern for 3 minutes while you review your opener and take slow breaths.
• During Q and A. Keep a device in a pocket or clipped to a belt to maintain a calm rhythm without looking down.
• After the talk. Keep the pattern on for one minute while you write three wins and one tweak.

Learn the basics in our Science hub, browse tips in Resources, or see Haptix Flow V2 if you want the tactile shortcut.

What to do during the talk

Backstage, 2 minutes

• Stand tall. Feet hip width. Shake out hands.
• Do 3 rounds of physiological sighs and one minute of slow breathing.^1,2
• Whisper your opener once. Touch your pocket card.
• Start a gentle left right tap or haptic pattern if you like tactile support.^3–5

Walk on with intention

Walk to your spot and plant your feet. Lift your chest slightly. Smile at one friendly face. This brief settle tells your body that you are in control.

The first 60 seconds

Say your opener. Pause for one beat. Take a small sip of air. Move to your first point. If you feel a surge of nerves, slow your exhale and drop your pace by one notch.

Make slides work for you

One idea per slide. Read the headline cleanly. Add one sentence of context and stop. People listen to you, not the screen.⁷

Simple body language

Keep shoulders down. Move your gaze in short arcs. Gesture at chest level where people can see your hands. If you fidget, give your hands a job such as holding a clicker.

When you blank

• Say, “Let me make this simple. The key point is…”
• Look at your pocket card and read the next headline.
• Take one long exhale and continue.

When tech misbehaves

• Say, “We will go without slides for a moment.”
• Share your one message and your first chunk.
• If the screen returns, recap with one sentence and continue.

Q and A without spiraling

• Listen to the whole question and repeat the key part in one line.
• Answer with a headline and one detail.
• If the topic is a rabbit hole, offer a short follow up by email and move on.

Time and pace

Glance at a clock only at slide changes. If you are behind, skip a slide cleanly. Say, “I will leave this next one as a reference,” then move to your closer.

Aftercare and confidence loops

Downshift in two minutes

Sit or stand somewhere quiet. Do three rounds of physiological sighs. Follow with one minute of slow breathing. Roll your shoulders. Drink water. This tells your body the effort is over.^1,2

Capture the win while it is fresh

• Three things that went well.
• One tweak for next time.
• One sentence you want to keep because it felt natural.

Save proof for future you

If you recorded the talk, clip 10 to 20 seconds where you sounded clear. File it under Wins. Watch it before your next talk to train your brain to predict safety.

Schedule the next easy rep

Book a five minute practice within seven days. Do your opener and one chunk. Confidence grows from small, frequent reps.

If you feel a post talk crash

This is common. Eat something light. Take a short walk. Do a minute of slow breathing. Avoid rehashing every detail. Focus on the three wins you wrote.²

Quick templates you can borrow

Openers

• Today you will learn how to ____ in three clear steps.
• If you have ever felt ____, here is a simple fix.
• In five minutes I will show you how to ____ so you can ____.

Transitions

• Now that you know why this matters, here is how to do it.
• Let us turn this into a checklist you can use today.
• Before we wrap, here is the one thing to remember.

Explaining a chart

The headline here is ____. The detail that proves it is ____. What this means for you is ____.

Answering questions

• Great question. The short answer is ____. One detail ____.
• I will give the one line version now and can share more afterward.
• I do not have that number on hand. Here is what we do know ____.

Handling a blank

• Let me pause to make this clear. The key point is ____.
• I am going to take one breath and start that sentence again.

Closers

• If you try one thing this week, try ____.
• Your next step is ____ by ____.
• Thank you for your time. If you remember one thing, remember ____.

Audience prompts

• Turn to a neighbor and share one step you will try.
• Raise a hand if you have used ____. What worked for you.

FAQs

Try this next

Pick one step and do it today. Small wins stack fast.

1. Do a five minute ladder rep. Record your opener, then practice to a mirror. Stop there and call it a win.
2. Grab your free calm guide. Take the short Calm Finder Quiz and get a simple breathing and grounding guide for your phone.
3. Skim one science post. See how alternating tactile patterns may help you feel anchored in Science.
4. Set up a tactile shortcut. If helpful, explore Haptix Flow V2 and try a gentle alternating pattern at low intensity.

Sources

1. Balban MY et al. Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine (2023).
2. Zaccaro A et al. How Breath-Control Can Change Your Life: A Systematic Review on Psychophysiological Correlates of Slow Breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience (2018).
3. Lee CW & Cuijpers P. A meta-analysis of the contribution of eye movements in processing emotional memories. J Behav Ther Exp Psychiatry (2013).
4. Engelhard IM et al. Eye movements reduce vividness and emotionality of distressing images of feared future events. Behav Res Ther (2010).
5. NICE Guideline NG116: Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): recognition, assessment and treatment (2018).
6. Gallego A et al. Measuring public speaking anxiety: Self-report, behavioral, and physiological measures. Behav Res Methods (2021).
7. Overview of Cognitive Theory of Multimedia Learning and Cognitive Load Theory (references Mayer, Sweller).